A letter to my unborn baby.

{pleeeeeease note: this was written before my last baby KerriClaire was born-- I am not currently pregnant.}

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I'm scheduled for an induction tomorrow morning. So if all goes as planned (and there is a bed available in Labor & Delivery), I will be waddling my little pregnant butt into the hospital and pushing out a baby sometime in the afternoon). It has been a long, achy, and hormonal ride to get to this point. And to be completely honest, I am not a happy pregnant person. There is no glow about me. I am bitchy, I am short tempered, and I do not have the energy to be the kind of mom (or wife) I want to be while pregnant. So, I am so very glad it is almost over and I never have to share my body with another human being again. And yet….somehow…oddly enough, I know someday, I will miss this moment in time.

Anyway, this goes out to my girl.

My dearest baby girl,

Tomorrow will be your birthday. Tomorrow, you and I will look at each other for the first time. That is the strangest thing of all, perhaps --the act of seeing the face of someone who I already feel I know so well. I know your rhythms, your patterns, your schedule, the way your body trembles after every hiccup. I know the weight of you. I carry the weight of you. I know the sound of your heartbeat. And the shutter of your arms as they reach out to get comfortable within me. And yet, I have never peered into your beautiful eyes.

Oh, how I cannot wait to see those eyes. Will they be the color of your daddy's?

Little love, you have me wrapped around your teeny fingers already and I have never met you. You have so much of me. You are so much of me.

You and your three siblings are what make me me. You make my whole life worth living.

You are one of the only ones whose chest I will ever watch rise and fall in the night. You are one of the only ones who I will ever share my last bite of pizza with. You are one of the only ones who will ever know what my heart sounds like from the inside. You are one of the only ones who I will lift my covers for and let nestle within them. You are one of the only ones who will carry my heart in your pocket. One of the only ones who I will breathe and wake for. One of the only ones with the ability to make me cry with pride. One of the only ones who I will protect with every ounce of my being. You are one of the only ones. 

I cannot wait to meet you tomorrow, my sweet. I am sure you will be even more beautiful than you are in my dreams. And at the end of the day, I will feel more complete than I have ever felt in my life. Tomorrow will not be just your birthday, it will be the start of my happily ever after.

Funny thing-- I haven't even lived a day with you and I already cannot imagine living a day without you. 

I love you so much and cannot wait to feel the weight of you on the outside,

Momma

sarah driscoll